Shit and other funny stories

I have, as many of you know, the tendency to attract series of unfortunate events. Sometimes they are my doing, sometimes it is just fate, but all the time (eventually) they are funny, and it leaves people saying "that could only happen to Christa". So I thought I had better write down some of these funny stories to entertain all you folks at home.

There are not very many western people here in Korea and they are so curious about me! Sometimes I feel like I am "representing" the western world when I am out and about. So, I try to put my best foot forward and make a good impression wherever I go. Well today before work I went swimming, and after my swim and shower I went to get changed. Well to my dismay in my early morning fog instead of putting my brown towel in my backpack, I put my brown PANTS in my backpack. So I had nothing to dry off with. So there I am (a spectacle on a good day) drying myself off with a pair of pants. I am sure that the women in the changing room now think that people from the western world do not use towels, they dry off with pairs of pants. Sorry Canada....not representing very well today!

So a funny story...
When I first arrived here in Korea (within a month or two) a bunch of us got together to go to Costco (a 2 hour train ride away). I don't know what I was going through, but I ended up buying over 300$ worth of Costco stuff. I had brought my suitcase so that was helpful. So I get to the train and cannot lift my suitcase so I sweet talk a man into loading it onto the train for me. I hop on the train and bend over to pull it the rest of the way in. I now have the suitcase with 300$ worth of food in it and I start moving backwards but suddenly I start slipping and sliding. I don't know why, I assume there is water on the floor or something like that so I don't really mind that much. But then I realize, "man I am really sliding around here, that can't be water". Thankfully I don't fall because what I am in fact sliding around in is human waste.....no not pee....I go off to the bathroom to clean up and there is, of course, no soap (very typical in Korea). So I have to steal some from the guys washroom. I am in there gagging and gagging, trying to clean my brand new crocks without throwing up. If my buddy Kim was there she would have been weak with laughter. So eventually, I am cleaned up and relatively sure I don't smell like shit so I head to my seat. All my friends are saying "where were you, what happened?" but before I could inform my friends a train employee came over to see me. What for? you ask Surely it is to ask if I am okay, or to bump me up to first class, or to give me a free drink....something, right? No, she is just making sure I actually have purchased a ticket to go for a slid on the shit train.